Throughout most of history, women typically had fewer legal rights then men. Generally, a woman’s responsibility was to find a husband and pursue their biological role as a mother. Along with motherhood, women’s duties included domestic chores such as cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry leaving the men to do the heavier labor and make a living for the family. During this time, women were often considered intellectually and emotionally inferior to men. With lack of opportunity and little respect from men, women were forced to rely on their husbands for food, property and income. Since the women’s rights movements in the mid 20th century, gender roles have significantly been reevaluated; however, women empowerment and high expectations from society now are affecting men more than ever.
From an early age we are taught the differences between a man and a woman. We are categorized into gender roles and taught what is acceptable and what is not. By observing our parents and our environment we learn to conform to social norms. We are told that certain behaviors are not acceptable, that women are supposed to act like a lady, and that real men don’t cry. We are given a set of ideals that defines masculinity and femininity, and are taught that if we can‘t reach those goals then there is something wrong. As if there is a model way that we should act and look in order to be considered a reasonably attractive person.
With help from the social media, expectations for what it takes to be a respectable man or woman are absolutely absurd. The way the depict people and their lifestyles on television and in magazines can only make you want to dream big. You can’t tell me that the smooth powerhouse business man with the washboard abs, who just so happens to fix up cars in his spare time (and is not to mention gorgeous) doesn’t make you turn away from the movie screen, look at your man and think “so what happened to you?” Or the gorgeous models in the magazines with perfect bodies don’t make you a self conscious about your own? I mean come on! Look at what we’re up against.
The problem is that we are taught to strive for flawlessness, that we can do anything if we put our minds to it, that we can achieve perfection. We are bombarded with messages that say that if we do this or try that we can, in fact, be the way we want to be. What they don’t tell you is that NO ONE is perfect, it is impossible to be perfect. We say to ourselves “if I could just lose ten more pounds then I would really like the way I look.” When in all reality with that mindset, it is likely that you’ll never truly be satisfied with yourself. So when does it stop? As soon as you reach your next goal? Do you think perfectionists ever reach a point where they step back, look at all their work and actually appreciate the way it turned out? People that reach for the unreachable are always going to setting themselves up for disappointment.
So, rather than striving to be perfect, it is important to work on what makes you happy. Once you accept that it is impossible to meet society’s standards you may look at things in a different light. No longer will you feel the need or the want to conform to the society’s endless requests. Stop caring about what other people think and you can learn to be content.
From an early age we are taught the differences between a man and a woman. We are categorized into gender roles and taught what is acceptable and what is not. By observing our parents and our environment we learn to conform to social norms. We are told that certain behaviors are not acceptable, that women are supposed to act like a lady, and that real men don’t cry. We are given a set of ideals that defines masculinity and femininity, and are taught that if we can‘t reach those goals then there is something wrong. As if there is a model way that we should act and look in order to be considered a reasonably attractive person.
With help from the social media, expectations for what it takes to be a respectable man or woman are absolutely absurd. The way the depict people and their lifestyles on television and in magazines can only make you want to dream big. You can’t tell me that the smooth powerhouse business man with the washboard abs, who just so happens to fix up cars in his spare time (and is not to mention gorgeous) doesn’t make you turn away from the movie screen, look at your man and think “so what happened to you?” Or the gorgeous models in the magazines with perfect bodies don’t make you a self conscious about your own? I mean come on! Look at what we’re up against.
The problem is that we are taught to strive for flawlessness, that we can do anything if we put our minds to it, that we can achieve perfection. We are bombarded with messages that say that if we do this or try that we can, in fact, be the way we want to be. What they don’t tell you is that NO ONE is perfect, it is impossible to be perfect. We say to ourselves “if I could just lose ten more pounds then I would really like the way I look.” When in all reality with that mindset, it is likely that you’ll never truly be satisfied with yourself. So when does it stop? As soon as you reach your next goal? Do you think perfectionists ever reach a point where they step back, look at all their work and actually appreciate the way it turned out? People that reach for the unreachable are always going to setting themselves up for disappointment.
So, rather than striving to be perfect, it is important to work on what makes you happy. Once you accept that it is impossible to meet society’s standards you may look at things in a different light. No longer will you feel the need or the want to conform to the society’s endless requests. Stop caring about what other people think and you can learn to be content.
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